If the title of this article caught your eye, that’s a good start—it might even help you reflect on where your eyes typically focus and where they don’t. Eye contact, once a cornerstone of human connection, is becoming increasingly rare in our screen-dominated lives. The beeps, alerts, and endless digital distractions have shifted our gaze away from the eyes of others and into the glow of our devices.
And it’s not just adults who are losing touch with this fundamental skill. A recent survey revealed that 62% of educators believe children are worse at making and maintaining eye contact than in years past. This decline reflects a cultural shift away from face-to-face engagement, one that has profound implications for how we communicate and connect.
It’s hard to overestimate the seismic changes screens have wrought in our day-to-day, from the minor to the massive. Our attention spans, tolerance for boredom, and curiosity about the real world around us have been hijacked by the digital revolution.
But devices are only one of the challenges surrounding this lost art.
Let’s say we manage to put our phones aside for a moment and truly engage with our listener. What’s the next barrier? It begins with the very term we use: “eye contact.” This phrase frames eye contact as a static object, something you either “have” or “don’t.” We often hear it described in these terms: “She has great eye contact” or “He has poor eye contact.” But this view oversimplifies the concept, reducing it to a mere possession rather than recognizing it as a dynamic and interactive process that requires intention and awareness.
Eye contact is not a possession; it’s an activity. It’s not something you simply “have” or “don’t have.” In fact, one can experience both good and bad eye contact at any given moment. Viewing it as a static attribute is reductive, and it ironically shifts the focus onto the speaker, rather than the interaction itself.
Read More: Making Eye Contact…
