Kat Bogdon, 37, feels panic every day as she rations the creamer for her morning coffee. Could she maybe use a little bit less? Could she use milk instead?
The Buffalo, New York, native has been living in financial limbo since being laid off in early June, and has had to turn to food stamps. But now even that lifeline has been taken away as she has become one of an estimated 41.7 million Americans affected by the federal pause of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP).
“Daily things that are normal feel like luxuries,” Bogdon tells TIME. “It almost feels like a bit of dignity and a bit of choice—a lot of choice and autonomy is stripped away from you.”
Read more: Why Are Democrats Voting to End the Shutdown? Here’s What Guided Their Thinking
The battle over SNAP, also known as food stamps, has been playing out both in the courts and Congress amid the longest government shutdown in U.S. history.
Even as eight Senate Democrats looked close to striking a deal with their Republican counterparts on Monday to pass a spending bill and put an end to the shutdown, the fate of SNAP payments was still uncertain as the Trump Administration was appealing a court order to release November’s payments in full.
That uncertainty has made life difficult for Bogdon and many like her.
“I tell myself over and over, ‘It’s going to be okay, I’m going to be okay. I can just dip into savings. I have a family that can help,” she says. “It’s not an end-of-the-road situation for me, but it’s still incredibly stressful that a program that I pay into for my taxes, that when I need it, can be stripped away from me at any moment in time, just for political theater.”
Bogdon was among the lucky ones amid the chaos. A back-and-forth has ensued in the courts over the past few weeks as the Trump Administration has fought federal orders to release emergency funds to pay the benefits, leading to an unequal distribution across the country.
About 20 states had…
