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Yesterday, we left New York City. What a relief.
Leaving there Texas, it’s like waking up from a bad dream. It’s like going from the Texans to the Cowboys. You know what, I don’t even know what that means. I don’t know anything about sports.
It’s like going from Joy Behar’s bed to anything that isn’t Joy Behar’s bed. I’d even take a bed of nails. That I know.
And thank you, by the way, for the gift basket. I’ve only been in Texas for one day and I already got an AR-15 a Bible, and Beto O’Rourke’s balls in a pickle jar.
I’m kidding. We all know Beto has no balls. Even Caitlyn Jenner would tell him to grow a pair.
Remember when he said he was coming for your guns, and you said, Yeah, try it, Nancy. This guy couldn’t get a glue gun from an art teacher.
And yet, he wants to run for governor. That’s a joke. His odds of becoming governor are as good as Hunter Biden passing a drug test.
Originally, I had Cat’s name in there, but I realized Hunter was funnier.
But, like Beto, right now, the Democrats are running into a problem. Whether they want to admit it or not, America is more like Texas than it is like California or New York.
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That means Americans want an America that is more like America.
And like our show, a lot of people are coming here for that very same reason, especially from California, which makes sense.
The U-hauls are headed in one direction, and the apocalypse in the other.
California is home to the largest share of the country’s billionaires, and also the highest poverty rate.
They build walls around their mansions but turn your backyards into truckstop bathrooms. Except with more poop.
This means as California goes to hell in a handbasket woven by progressives, the rich and powerful don’t care. So everyone in between has no choice but to leave for greener pastures.
I can’t blame them. Everything in Texas is bigger and…
Source : foxnews
