Greg Gutfeld: The worse you feel about America, the better CNN does

First… Some sad news to report. Chris Cuomo is dead… Lifting a lot of weight, now that he’s unemployed. Yep, this dumbbell is taking his aggression out on the barbells.

Now, in all seriousness, our show lost an important ally this weekend — someone who’s been a helluva supporter, and deeply involved in the success of this program since day one. You could say he was our shining light, our lodestar, our muse. Second banana in his own family, but #1 in our hearts. 

CHRIS CUOMO SAGA: CNN’S DON LEMON IGNORES FIRING OF DISGRACED BESTIE

In a blow that has left all of us reeling — Chris Cuomo was terminated from CNN, after the network allegedly “just learned” Cuomo had been accused of sexual misconduct by a woman who had worked with him previously at ABC. Yeah, “just learned.” They also just learned the pee-pee tapes were fake, Jussie Smollett is a liar, and Don Lemon can’t read.

 And of course, this tragic news is leaving a huge hole in my show. When it came to laughs, Cuomo provided more than a bus-full of nitrous-huffing clowns. The shock has left many of us in denial.

Montage of “Gutfeld!” staffers upset that material will be harder to come by now that Chris Cuomo has been fired

It’s been a rough day. Let’s go to Carl Bernstein. Tell us, is this worse than Watergate?

Carl Bernstein Watergate montage: Worse than Watergate// I keep getting asked are there echoes of Watergate in this and there are//we are also witnessing something we did not see in Watergate// what we’re seeing is worse than Watergate

For once Carl is right. Obviously, people handle the news differently. Some people are weeping. Others are lashing out in anger. Some are trying to eat away the pain. 

Clip of Brianna Keilar eating a cicada

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN ‘LAWYERING UP’ AHEAD OF BREWING $18 MILLION LEGAL BATTLE OVER FIRING: SOURCES

And there are others who, after more Cuomo crap hit the fan, happily threw him under the bus, pretending they were always…