My only son, Hersh, was kidnapped from a music festival on Oct. 7, 2023, after having his dominant forearm and hand blown off. He was held captive, tortured, starved and then, after 328 days, shot in the hand (his only one), shoulder, neck and twice in the head in a dark and airless tunnel in Gaza on Aug. 29, 2024.
Hersh’s name had been on the list, in July, who would be released in a deal between Hamas and Israel. But that deal did not happen, because decision makers did not want it to happen. And Hersh, along with five other beautiful young people, with whom he was being held hostage, are now all dead.
My husband Jon and I, after having suffered more than 300 days of every parent’s nightmare of utter and indescribable torment, continued advocating and pushing for the release of the remaining hostages in Gaza. We did not want anyone else to go through what we are and will continue grappling with for the rest of our lives. At this time there are 98 hostages still in Gaza. The live hostages must come home to be physically and psychologically rehabilitated, and the deceased must return to have proper and respectful burials.
Finally, on Wednesday, the news came that a deal was reached and will begin to be implemented imminently.
Over 200 messages flooded my phone. People seemed confused that Jon and I are relieved and happy that so many of our hostage community, with whom we feel like family, will finally be reunited with their loved ones. This does not mean we are not in agonizing mourning and oozing with grief for our beloved Hersh, who we buried 135 days ago. It means we can hold two truths; we can even hold more.
Humans are fascinating creatures. We can experience a multitude of diverse feelings simultaneously. So we can experience suffering while still having the capacity to laugh, we can be longing for someone and capable of celebration, we can be weeping and resilient, we can be yearning and hopeful.
What is essential to us at this moment is that we make sure…
